Help Needed?
by LauraLovesNT
Summary: Sandra is having nightmares, but due to her stubborn nature she refuses to seek help. Can Gerry change that? Little Sherry multi-chapter fic. Trigger warning.
1. Chapter 1

Help Needed?

A/N  
So this is a little Sherry-one shot set after Gerry gets home from the pub after "Into The Woods"  
I'm sorry it's sad, but ever since I joined I have written happy, fluffy fics, but now I'd like to start exploring the characters in more depth...

Special thanks to Eden who helped me out with this fic :)

Trigger warning!

Reviews welcome,  
Laura xxx

"Sandra! I'm home!" Gerry called. She had said that she was going home to "microwave a curry and watch some rubbish telly". Gerry knew that it was more than likely to be asleep, she had been exhausted recently.

Things had been difficult between the pair of them of late, it had recently been the anniversary of Sandra's dad's death and she'd become more distressed. She had begun to have nightmares.

They had only started out as mildly bad dreams, at first. But as they had gotten worse, Sandra had begun to thrash and cry out in her sleep. She almost always woke up in tears afterwards, Gerry had to calm her down, which took quite a while.

As a result, they hadn't slept properly; they were grumpy and often snapped at each other.

Gerry found his partner curled up on the sofa, out for the count. She was twitching in her sleep, she didn't look happy either.

He had a quick look in the kitchen. The remnants of Sandra's curry was on the table top, this was a dead giveaway that she wasn't her usual self. She was a stickler for tidiness and usually made sure that dirty dishes were in the sink.  
Gerry returned to the sitting room. He shivered a little, it wasn't the warmest of rooms in the house so he turned the fire on.

He sat down next to Sandra and watched her sleep. Her usually straightened hair was curly; she often caught up on sleep in the morning before work now. Her makeup was smudged, she had been crying.

Gerry shook Sandra awake gently.

She opened her eyes, it took her a couple of minutes to focus but eventually her eyes settled on Gerry.

"Another bad dream?" he enquired.

She nodded and gulped. "Yeah... I dreamt about the night of my Dad's death... I re-imagined my Mum breaking it to me..." she said.

"Sandra, I'm so sorry... We need to go to somebody about this..." he mused.

"No! I'm not going to some bloody shrink!" Sandra answered instantly, her body tensing up.

Gerry looked straight into her eyes. "Look, Sandra. We have to go to somebody. I will if you won't. I love you and I hate going on like this, seeing you distressed." he replied.  
"Yeah, but I'm sure that it's just a phase. Maybe it's just because it's this time of year. I hate any clinical or hospital environment, it gives me the creeps." She grumbled, a scowl on her face.

"Don't scowl like that, if the wind changes it will stick like it! Sandra, you need help. You can't go on like this, you're tired, grumpy, and unhappy. I'll come with you, I promise. Please, Sandra?" Gerry asked her, looking into her eyes and praying that she would agree.

She sighed deeply. "All right, if you think it will help. I used to get bad dreams as a child, Mum took me to some doctors or other and they couldn't help. I hope that it will be different, this time." She responded, a ghost of a smile on her face.

Gerry took both of her hands in his. "I will. I promise." he said.

The two sat up for a while, talking.

Sandra talked about her childhood, about how much she missed her dad.

"I remember on the night he died, I felt so numb, like it wasn't true. I screamed and screamed, trying to convince myself that it wasn't true, that it was all a lie. The next day, I went to the stables that I used to ride at, took one of the horses out for a ride and didn't come back until evening. That ride gave me a lot of time to think... I never rode again." She responded gravely, sadness in her eyes.

Gerry held her close. "Sandra... We've got to get you over this, some'ow." he said, worriedly.  
Sandra nodded. "I know." She answered, closing her eyes.  
"Anyway, we'd better get to bed, it's late. Have you had any tea?" she continued.  
"Yeah, Danny bought us fish and chips. I'll be up in a minute." Gerry promised. She left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next morning, Gerry woke up early.

He lay in silence for a while, watching Sandra sleep.

Their sleep last night had not been interrupted by Sandra crying out due to bad dreams, thankfully.

The sound of the alarm clock going off to signal the start of yet another working day made him jump.

Sandra stirred beside him. "What time is it?" she asked. "

"6.45." Gerry answered.

"Five more minutes, then."Sandra replied happily, snuggling even deeper under the covers.

"Oh no you don't! Come on, lazybones!" Gerry teased.

Sandra rolled her eyes and sat up. "At least it's Friday. If you want a shower, be quick about it because I want one too." She informed him.

"Yes Guv!" he answered, getting out of bed.

They went to work in Sandra's car.

"Sandra, I've got to speak to Danny about something." Gerry said when they got to the Met building. "Okey doke, I'll get our morning coffees then." She answered, giving him a kiss.

"See you later, love you" Gerry told her, getting out of the car. "And I love you. See you in a minute" Sandra smiled.

Gerry made his way swiftly to the UCOS office.

Danny and Steve were already there, discussing the case that they were working on.

"Er, boys, could I have your attention for a minute?" Gerry asked, clearing his throat.

They turned to look at him, their faces full of concern when they saw that Sandra was absent.

"Where is Sandra? Is she ok?" asked Danny.

"She's okay, just getting our coffees. I need to speak to you two about something." Said Gerry.

"What's up?" Steve asked, looking worried.

"Well... you know what time of year it is, don't you?" Gerry asked.

Danny and Steve nodded. Gerry had told them a potted history of UCOS, he'd included facts about Sandra and the circumstances around her dad's death.

"Well, she is having nightmares, bad dreams about the night her dad died. I've been pleading with her for weeks to get help and last night, she agreed." Gerry told them.

"Oh, what type of help are you thinking about?" Danny enquired.

"Well, anything really. Apart from hypnotism. I tried that about 5-6 years ago. It wasn't pretty! Nah, I'm not having my Sandra going through any of that." Gerry replied.

"So, just general therapy then?" Steve enquired.

"Yeah... I was wondering if you two had any ideas?" Gerry asked hopefully.

"Well, I've got a couple of contacts..." Dan scribbled something on a scrap of paper and handed it to Gerry.

"Ta, mate, I owe you one." Gerry thanked him.

"A drink would be preferable" he continued as Sandra walked into the room. "Morning boys, here's your coffees. Let's get started on reviewing this case, I was musing over it this morning and I think I've realized something." She said.

Gerry smiled at this. Despite the bad dreams, despite everything Sandra was still the sharp, beautiful, policewoman that he knew and loved.


	3. Chapter 3-Therapy

Chapter 3- Therapy

A/N

So this was a difficult chapter for me to write, because I really don't know what happens in therapy sessions like the one I'm describing! I've been to a couple, not enough to gain a lot of knowledge though, so I'm sorry if it isn't right! I do hope that you enjoy it and reviews would be great!

Laura xxx

One week later...

"Do we really have to go?" Sandra asked Gerry. They were just about to go out of the door to drive to Dr Taylor's office. She was a therapist, recommended by Danny.

"Yes, we do. I thought Danny gave you a talking to about it last night at the pub?" Gerry enquired, making his way out to the car.

Sandra shut the front door behind them both and unlocked her car. "He did" she answered , getting opening the car door and getting inside. Gerry followed suit.

"It'll be okay, you know. I'll be with you." he answered. 'I know.' Sandra turned her head briefly to smile at him.

Ten minutes later, they got to the office. Gerry got out of the car, Sandra followed.

He took Sandra's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze to reassure her. She smiled. "Come on, we'll be late." Gerry told her.

They made their way into the clinic and checked in. Gerry sat next to Sandra on some plastic chairs.

"Ugh, I hate the smell of these places!" Sandra moaned, wrinkling her nose. Gerry nodded in agreement, he hated the smell too.

For Sandra, waiting for her name to be called was the worst part of appointments like this. She fiddled with her hair, checked her phone, and flicked through a magazine, trying to pass the time.

"Sandra Pullman?" a voice asked. Sandra and Gerry stood up to greet the tall brunette woman walking towards them. "Yes, that's me, I presume you're Dr Taylor?" Sandra asked, shaking the younger woman's hand. "Yes, this way" she answered.

"So, Sandra, why are you here today?" Dr Taylor asked once they were all seated in her office.

Sandra cleared her throat. "Well... I don't know how to explain, really. I've been having bad nightmares about the night my Dad died. He committed suicide." She told the therapist.

Dr Taylor nodded. "Ah. How long has this been going on for?" she answered. "About two months now. You see, he died around this time of year." Sandra replied.

"Did you have a bad relationship with your father?" the other woman asked. "No, I was the apple of his eye. I don't have a good relationship with my Mum, though." Sandra replied.

"Do you ever get nightmares about anything with her?" Dr Taylor enquired, writing something down in a notebook.

"No, oddly enough." Sandra answered.

"What is your last memory of your father?" Dr Taylor asked her.

"The Saturday before he died, he took me to a cafe after I'd been riding. He was worried, I could tell by the way he kept checking his watch. I remember him telling me that everyone has a tell, one of his tells was checking his watch all the time." Sandra replied.

"And that made you worried?" Dr Taylor asked. Sandra nodded at this.

"Has anything else to do with him happened after his death?" Dr Taylor asked. Sandra told her about what had happened at UCOS some years ago when she found out that her Dad had killed himself.

They talked some more, and finally, at the end of the session Dr Taylor said; "Sandra, I think you are subconsciously going into denial about the fact that your father is no longer with us, so I think that you should maybe look at some photographs of him, then maybe talk about the events after his death? It sounds mad but I think it will help you." the young woman informed Sandra.

"Okay, that doesn't sound mad, trust me! I have to work with three old men!" Sandra smiled.

A second appointment was made, for two week's time.

"That wasn't so bad after all" Sandra smiled as they made their way out of the clinic. "I told you!" Gerry said.


	4. Chapter 4-Memories Of Dad

Chapter 5-Memories of Dad

That night, after they had eaten their tea, Sandra went upstairs when Gerry was clearing the plates away.

"Sandra, I thought that you were going to help with the washing up!" Gerry called up to her. "Yeah, yeah, I'm just getting something, I'll be down in a minute" she answered.

"Now where is it?" she muttered to herself, opening her wardrobe.

After a few minutes of searching, she found what she was looking for. A photo album.

She clutched it to her chest and made her way back downstairs.

She placed the album on the sofa and made her way into the kitchen.

Gerry was still washing up. Sandra noticed some crockery on the drying rack so she grabbed a tea towel and began to dry them up.

"What did you get from upstairs?" Gerry asked her. "A photo album." She replied shortly. Gerry understood that she didn't want to discuss it so he left it.

After they had finished, Gerry went out for a cigarette.

Sandra went into the sitting room and sat down on the sofa.

She opened the photo album, and studied the first photograph. Her Dad was leading a donkey whse back that Sandra was sat on. The note below the photograph read: "When Sandra's love of horses/ponies started-a donkey ride at Brighton!"

Sandra could remember that day so clearly. The smell of the sea, the taste of the candyfloss that her Dad had bought her, the feel of the sand between her toes...

Sandra let out a sob. This business of looking at photos to get over her Dad's death was proving to be difficult.

"Sandra, what's the matter?" Sandra whipped round to see Gerry standing at the sitting room doorway.

He sat on the sofa next to her and put his arm around her. He looked at the photo. "Aww, this is sweet. How come it's upset you?" he asked, kissing her head.

Sandra lifted her head and gazed at the picture. "I just miss that time, you know? I miss the time when I was little, and everything seemed to be perfect. Then I grew up." She answered sadly.

"Ah well, that's the way of the world." He replied. Sandra turned the page of the album to the next picture.

On the second photograph, Sandra was about 5 years old, kitted out in full riding gear. She stood next to a small horse, a big smile on her face. Her Dad stood on the other side of the horse, smiling also.

A single tear escaped out of Sandra's eye. She wiped it away quickly.

The next photo was of her, a little older now, in her school uniform , holding an award of some kind.

"Sandra wins best poem of the month" Gerry read the caption below the picture. "Oh God, that poem I wrote was so embarrassing!" Sandra laughed.

"Why?" Gerry teased.

"It was entitled "My Horse" and was basically drivel about how much I loved the horse I used to ride. Her name was Pippin." Sandra said.

They looked at other photos from Sandra's childhood. The last photo in the album was a picture of Sandra and her Dad together. Sandra looked about 12.

"How come the photos stop here?" Gerry asked. "Well, the year before my Dad died wasn't a happy one. I guess that we didn't have many family outings or anything in the year before Dad died." She answered.

Gerry nodded in understanding. "You were cute as a toddler." He informed her.

"You mean I'm not cute now?"she replied in mock anger. "Just kidding! You are always cute" Gerry answered, pulling her close and giving her a kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4-Healing

"Sandra, I think that you don't need to come to these sessions anymore. I think that the final step would be to visit your Dad's grave." Dr Taylor told Sandra four weeks later.

The sessions had been going well, Sandra's nightmares were becoming less frequent, she was happier and brighter now.

"Er... okay. Well, I haven't had any nightmares for two weeks now, I think I'm making progress. " Sandra replied.

"That's good." Smiled Dr Taylor.

"Dr Taylor, are you really sure that I'm ready for this?" Sandra enquired worriedly.

The Dr looked at her straight in the eyes. "Yes, Sandra. I believe in you."

"Come on, Sandra. You will be fine, plus I'll come with you, if you like." Gerry added, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Okay then." Sandra said, sounding a lot more confident than she felt.

The next day...

"Er, Gerry and I are going early today." Sandra announced, making her way out of her office.

"Where are you going?" Steve asked.

"We're going to visit her Dad's grave." Gerry answered when he saw Sandra struggling to say something.

"It's not "her" it's Sandra. I do have a name you know." Sandra snapped and marched out.

"Oh dear, I can see this is going to be difficult." Gerry got up and grabbed his coat. "Bye, good luck" Dan said.

Gerry found Sandra waiting in her car, tears in her eyes.

"Hey, it's alright" Gerry slipped in beside her.

"I'm finding this very difficult, I'm sorry that I snapped at you." She replied.

"It's okay, it's understandable. Right, let's get going." He answered.

"I'm going to drive to the churchyard, I'm rubbish at giving you instructions!" Sandra ordered, making Gerry smile.

They got to the graveyard.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Gerry asked.

"Um, give me a few minutes, please." Sandra replied, getting out of the car.

Even though it had been many years since she had been to his final resting place, Sandra knew exactly where her father's grave was situated.

"Hi, Dad. I just thought that I'd stop by." Sandra said.

She began to tell him what had happened over the course of her life after him. Once she began, she could not stop talking.

"So I've been having therapy sessions for the last couple of weeks and I think that they have been quite helpful. I-I used to have nightmares about the night that you died... But I don't get them anymore." Sandra finished.

"Hello" Gerry made Sandra jump. "You scared me!" Sandra scolded him. "Sorry. Are you finished yet?" Gerry asked gently.

"No." Sandra answered, then resumed talking to her Dad.

"I miss you. I miss and think about you every day, Daddy. I wish you could be here with me now... but I have really enjoyed talking to you." Sandra finished ten minutes later. She started to cry.

"Shh" Gerry pulled her close. "I think you're on the road to recovery." He told her. Sandra nodded and wiped her eyes. "Yeah, hopefully." She smiled.

THE END!

So I hope that everybody has enjoyed reading this fic! Oh, by the way I have just started year 11 so fic updates won't be very frequent but I'll try to update/write as much as I can!

Laura xxx


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